A lot of parents discover that there are some difficult challenges involved with the disciplining of children. All kids have moments in which they are difficult to deal with and refuse to cooperate. How that child’s parent reacts is going to directly impact that child’s development later on. You do not want to overreact but you do not want to under react. So let’s explore some of the mistakes parents make with discipline and how to avoid them.
Disciplining your children is not the same thing as humiliating or disrespecting them. Making your kids feel ashamed is more likely to damage their self-esteem than it is to earn better behavior in the future. For one thing, don’t yell at or insult your kids, especially in public.
Labeling your child as lazy, dumb or inconsiderate is also something you shouldn’t do. You won’t make your child change when you do this, you just reinforce the notion that he or she is somehow lacking. When the child is doing something that you do not like, you need to explain what he or she is doing wrong. What you want to do is encourage better behavior, not make your child feel inferior or ashamed.
One of the most common disciplining mistakes is for parents to make idle threats and not enforce their rules consistently. When you tell your child that he is going to be grounded for a week because of a certain action, and do not follow through, the child will quickly learn from this. The lesson isn’t the one you want to teach, though. Caution is imperative as you set up house rules and consequences, reasonableness is important as is your ability to actually carry them out. There are a number of ways in which threatening consequences that your children will never have to face can be hurtful. The biggest of which is that when they go out into the real world, they actually will have to face consequences when they break rules.
Parents can sometimes be overly critical of their kids. If you are a perfectionist and expect your child to excel at everything, you’re likely to be making this mistake. That isn’t really about discipline but typically is about a parent who is desperate to feel successful even when that feeling is experienced through a child. It’s a good thing to want your kids to do well in school and in their other activities.
If, however, you are insistent that they be perfect in every way it will be hard for them to enjoy anything. It is important to encourage your children to try their hardest and do their best, but you have to recognize that each person has different abilities and interests and in different areas.
One of the more challenging parts of being a parent is dealing with discipline the right way. Disciplining your kids is tough and there are many mistakes, as you have just read, that parents can make. You just need to learn from your mistakes and not be too hard on yourself if you have made them. You will get positive results from your kids if you discipline them in a balanced manner. Good luck.
